a Dirty Martini

What is Sexy?

**Let me preface this rant by stating that this originally short piece was embellished and co written ce soir with 2 other girlies and a bottle of wine :D. I like the result**

This is not about asking the irrational: that skinny jeans fit a swollen size 20 arse. Nor are we worrying about whether or not some model is anorexic and about to slip sideways off this mortal coil.  Personally i couldn't give a shit.

They’re all borderline anorexic. 99% of them subsist on nothing but nose candy and cigarettes unless they happen to be freakishly that thin.  Their tits are supplied by agents at 17 and their curves are amplified by a geak on a computer.  Believe us, no shot in the fashion industry -of any kind- leaves a studio un-scrutinised.

Any camera will add a handful of pounds. Though even Izabel Goulart cannot (above and below) disguise painfully thin arms and legs that in a parallel universe should be black, covered in flies and Ethiopian dust.

It’s time the normal bodied did the smack down on the underground federation responsible for the strange body eugenics going on in the mainstream.

I refer to couture, men and women’s glossies, Victoria’s Not So Secret catwalk , pageants & all over the sodding raunchosphere. I'm leaving out the airbrushed trannies in Playboy etc.

Fact. Card carrying members of the Gay Mafia in the ruling fashion bootcamps, are into pre-pubescent, hairless children.  Ergo, so are the rest of us.   Those air-kissing nutters think that boy-girls with just a touch of curve to their frames are the perfect clotheshangers for their designs and as a result a true definition of womanhood. 

In reality they are lusting after youthful, big-haired, pouting boys – without a penis. Actually I saw trannies in Brazil with more curves than some of their fellow countrywomen parading up and down runways in Europe and America. 

A cursory glance at the internets Top 100 Totty and the Gaylords omniprescence is confirmed.. 

I like to look good, who the fuck doesn’t. If you’re female and you say you don’t you’re lying!  But fuck this.  I’m no porker.  But even dieted thin, I’ll find supposedly regularly small sized t shirts that pull around my arms or across my boobs, as do fellow ranters with me. Yup, ok so I can subsist on Diet Coke (Diet Puke – shove a bunch of salt in it and see how long your food stays down) because I choose life not sweatpants in public.

Goulart asks - what’s sexy? Just a few pounds above anorexic apparently.

Because gay men say so.

Think about it.

The first crop of modern ‘supermodels’, defining womanhood*** to become a social obsession and gracing every cover of every sodding magazine, first hung out around Gianni Versace. A gay man. The founding member of the Gay Mafia. Gay men telling women and heterosexual men this is what’s sexy:-

Your red blooded male is pre-conditioned.  Think back only 50 years and Second World War pilots painted curvy women on the side of their deathtraps twice the size of the sticks above and they still weren't remotely big.  Again you ask what’s sexy now, Izzy? Various levels of androgyny apparently.

You get your saucer-eyed freakish models for high fashion in the form of Alien Chic - modern day eunuchs. Or only-ever-so-slightly curvier versions for lingerie where the only real difference is a pouty smile and very very long hair.  The gaylords who dress them backstage only need to look at them from the waist down to feel at home.

And hey Superladies, with all that wondrous modern sexuality thanks SO MUCH for setting the bar so unbelievably ......low.

Have you ever seen any of these women wind up with a remotely sexy man?

They either stay single forever or are found hanging off the arms of some snotty little shithead BOY like Pete Doherty. Or a totally boring twit in a suit. Or, Sweet Jesus... 50 Cent or P Diddy. I can feel myself wretching for them.

To be fair I bet they wished they’d been born in a time when the kind of men who pulled a bird like that were your actual bonafide gentlemen. I’m thinking 1950s when women were women and men were men (when they were refined. Male filmstars had the fucking decency to pretend they weren’t gay even if they were - and hey! even strip clubs were classy because the women weren’t publicly shoving their fully naked bits in some blokes bored face). 

Charlton Heston – RIP. He and his ilk, the group formerly known as “Gentlemen” and worthy of whatever totty is deemed de rigueur, are an endangered species, all but extinct.  And purlease it wasn't feminism that saw them off. Bollocks (intentional pun).

Take teen model Ali Michael who rather impossibly makes Goulart and co look ever thinner, and who debuted on the runways in Autumn 2007. 

Michael gets booted out of Paris Fashion Week. Why? Miss Michael who was last season's model du jour, and looks waiflike, with a still-developing body and a ‘standard’ model 23-inch waist - was told by casting directors for the runway shows ....that her legs were too fat.

According to Ali's mother, she got sick trying to keep her weight down... now that she decided to get "healthier", she gained a whole five pounds!! And everyone thought she got thick in the legs. Ta da! She probably did by today’s exacting flawless-seeking standards. 

And let’s not gripe at les Parisiens. I suspect she wouldn’t make the heterosexual star grade either if the same thing happens when she inevitably porn-poses nude for FHM.  Or they'll airbrush them. 

The Gay Mafia’s virtually nappied nubiles on the runway may well be responsible for ever increasing paedophilia. Don’t believe me? Barely Legal. Sigh. At what point in history did we ever sexually worship children so damn openly and simultaneously balk at the perverted psychos who snatch a 9 year old girl because they can’t keep control?

Of course when everyone gets shirty about the model industry and sizes and ages, the first reaction is a lurch to the extreme, in a queer hissy fit.

Jean Paul Gaultier’s tantrum at the thought of no longer dressing his boy-girls and embracing a normal bodied woman was to place grotesquely fat corseted women on the runway.

This filters down to cosmetics companies like Dove and Real Beauty who start trotting out beautiful but obviously old age pensioners, in raunch couture mode eg butt naked. What the fuck were they thinking?

It isn’t the cosmetic companies who get trivialized by the inevitable reaction either. And with a decent message about normality then well and truly trashed, so it goes on. Meanwhile men the same age as Yoda wonder across the silver screen reprising roles as though they were still 35, to media applause.

The clothes and underwear sizes that shrink every year (unashamedly confirmed by tell-alls at Dior) into which these models have to squeeze their freakishly tiny frames wind up on the peg and make the stupid masses think: super thin + juvenile = ideal woman, normal body + normal aging = ugly. What sort of fucked up idea is that?

It isn’t those of us who try to ‘just be normal’ via various soul destroying means that need psychiatric help and inner peace. It’s the mincing body fascists who define the 'normal'.  

Fuck them. 

There should be a national just-buy-oversizes day to piss them off and put them out of business. Or - women could start designing clothes for men, gays included, that give them really sqeaky voices and then insist the size they are choosing is standard.

***And another thing***

You know it's all truly gone to SHIT when fascist gays start rewriting history and destroying the last vestiges of all that is sacred for red blooded women by making cowboys in the movies GAY. The fuckers. What next? Maximus Decimus in a remake with the hots for Commodus?

In the patriarchal world of fashion feminism is still needed. Yup - patriarchy. Hoofters with tape measures and runway whips are still men.

Fin

Here we go.

Man dies after police called out

What kind of a headline is that? The police are already guilty according to the BBC.  An innocent man has died at the hands of the evil police just like Jean Charles de Menezes.

No. Actually the moron was trying to kill his own mother, was shot with a taser and then stabbed himself.  The police were doing their jobs and at risk.

But y'know, let's not help the police out when it comes to facing down dangerous deranged men with knives eh? It might piss Amnesty off. The tenuous link here that allows the BBC to conclude:

Amnesty International claim more than 250 people have died in North America after being shot with a Taser.

Fighting Stigma

Laura Bush in Saudi - promoting greater cancer awareness, meeting breast cancer survivors and attending the signing of a memorandum of understanding under which Saudi Arabia will formally join the US-Middle East Partnership for breast cancer awareness and research. Her four-nation tour which began in the United Arab Emirates includes Kuwait and Jordan. It also aims at restoring the 'US image in the Middle East battered by the US-led invasion of Iraq'. 

It was quite hard to find this image. It was in todays Sun newspaper under the flippant headline 'Didnt she do Veil" . The Sun loves a good piss take. But at least it drew attention to something.  Other outlets prefered to run images of just Laura Bush (below) - unsurprisingly since the veil image says a lot more about womens status than it does about cancer and no-one wants to make a contentious statement about the obvious do they?   Apparently she wore a trouser suit, as female dignitaries visiting Saudi Arabia are exempted from wearing the long black robe, known as abaya, which is a must for other women in the ultra-conservative kingdom. Big of them over there, eh?

Im so pleased she didnt relent to cover her hair. Good for Laura Bush.  Breast cancer is the No. 1 killer of women in the United Arab Emirates, but many succumb because the stigma surrounding the disease prevents them from seeking early detection. I sincerely hope she was an inspiration to the women there - in many more ways than one.

Above here is what appears to be the original even more striking group shot - only one i could find and only as a thumbnail. The orginal has been removed.

"Here there is a lot of religiosity but only a little Christianity"

Members of a Nicaraguan feminist group fight with Catholic faithful during a mass inside a cathedral in Managua.

Nicaragua: Its first year as a "pro-life" nation. Death toll so far: at least 80 women. (Check out the HRW report for more details.)

Without anaesthetic or proper instruments it was more akin to mutilation than surgery, but González insisted. The haemhorraging was intense, and the agony can only be imagined. González was not stupid and did not want to die. She knew her chance of surviving the butchery was small. But being a practical woman, she recognised it was her only chance, and took it. The story of why it was her only chance is an unfolding drama of religion, politics and power that has made Nicaragua a crucible in the global battle over abortion rights. This central American country has become the third country in the world, after Chile and El Salvador, to criminalise all abortions. It is a blanket ban. There are no exceptions for rape, incest, or life- or health-threatening pregnancies.

The Pope seemed to acknowledge an increased risk to women's health but Nicaragua's government has made no formal study of the law's impact. Women's rights organisations say their 82 documented deaths are the tip of the iceberg. The Pan-American Health Organisation estimates one woman per day suffers from an ectopic pregnancy, and that every two days a woman suffers a miscarriage from a molar pregnancy. That adds up to hundreds of obstetric emergencies per year.

It is a grim irony that this is happening under a Sandinista government - a movement whose ranks once included advocates for feminism and abortion rights. That was in the 1980s, when the Sandinistas were secular marxists, wore combat fatigues and fought a bloody civil war against US-backed Contra rebels.

In the run-up to last November's election, the cardinal spearheaded a campaign for a blanket abortion ban. Ortega, desperate to regain power, mobilised the Sandinistas behind the cardinal's campaign and helped get the ban enacted just days before the poll. The former revolutionary, now reinvented as a devout Catholic, was rewarded with the presidency.

USA: The state of abortion rights in the South.

Anti-abortion protesters plastered Gunn’s face and home phone number to “Wanted” posters and distributed them at rallies. He answered their harassment by blasting Tom Petty’s “I Won’t Back Down”, singing along, and wagging his finger in their direction. In March 1993, Gunn died when a protester shot him three times in the back outside of his clinic in Pensacola, Fla. The doctor on Ayers’ staff now wears a bulletproof vest.

In the past 16 months, two abortion clinics in Alabama have closed, and new regulations are making it difficult for other clinics to stay open. Now, anti-abortion groups are strategizing ways to outlaw birth control and eliminate sex education.

“At least once a month, I have women who call me and ask whether abortion is legal. That type of misinformation is rampant,” says Ayers. “We’re in the middle of the Bible Belt. It’s not just religion, it’s the fanatical religious aspect that keeps stirring people up who are opposed to us.”

It’s a place where the Christian Coalition holds sway over politicians, and many people vote the way they’re told in church. The legislative climate is “very hostile” toward abortion, says Felicia Brown Williams, who oversees Planned Parenthood’s advocacy agenda in Mississippi, one of two states with only one abortion clinic.

In Mississippi and Louisiana, Democrats run on anti-choice platforms. “

Mississippi has passed so many laws governing what abortion clinics can and cannot do that it is virtually impossible to open a second clinic without breaking state law. Mississippi requires permission from both parents for women under 18, except in cases of incest. The state’s conscience clause allows pharmacists to refuse to fill prescriptions for birth control. And earlier this year the Mississippi legislature passed a “trigger law,” immediately making abortion illegal should Roe v. Wade be overturned.

In the news

Shiraz Maher former member of Hizb ut-Tahrir on BBCs Panorama. You can read a summary of it here. And you can watch it online here (via here).

Oh and the overpaid and overhyped Anne Coulter can fuck off. 

"If we took away women’s right to vote, we’d never have to worry about another Democrat president. It’s kind of a pipe dream"

Heres the thing Anne. In the UK, since 1945, the Conservatives have enjoyed consistently greater approval among women than men, not to mention fronting the countrys first female leader. Probably because they havent made such an enormous party issue out of womens wombs like they do in the US. Its totally unsurprising so many women vote for the Democrats. And totally unsurprising when I read US feminist blogs that they seem as hardcore as they do, with their weird underwear obsession and strange logos. I mean Jesus Christ. The utter shit stuff I read that happens on there. Its an eye opener from over here.  

More Work Crap

Shuffling rich people into an enormous and stunning dining room in a very famous London hotel for a very prestigious do. Its called 'hand-holding'. Looking after the mad, the bad and the famous.The ladies loos at this establishment are kitted out with hairdressers, make-up artists, high seats, full length mirrors, no expense spared.  I’m tired, i want to sit down and i want the nice make-up artist to stick some of that super pretty and expensive sparkly stuff ive spyed on my eyes with professional flair...why not.  I take a break and decide to wait in a small queue, without abusing my position by claiming work privilege, sneaking to the front.  Along comes a woman dressed in an expensive sparkly number. Her husband potters around nervously as she frets. In a loud whiny Californian accent she booms "You SAID you’d get me to the front of line, I’m not waiting in line with these people...get me my place NOW". 

This is a rich fit of temper and snobbery and a half. "Goddamit!" she yells, marching around in her Manolos. Her husband glances around.  I arch a brow. He suggests she wait a few more minutes

“Are you retarded!??!” she yells in his face. She is so coke skinny and the shoes are so high, the dress and feathery accessories so ...  Physically she goes into a little point like a Barbie pen.  The dead eyed gobby moll.  I slip out of the queue. I can’t stand her yelling and it isn’t worth the aggro. "Why dont you.....feed her" i want to suggest. Later i spot her, hobnobbing with the rich and famous like butter wouldn't melt. What an absolute horror of a human being.

when did blogging get so precious?

Ok so you make a post and link to the source of your inspiration. You want to make a point (badly) about the excellent care meted out by the police in situations that they shouldnt be put into and one about those who point the finger of blame at them whilst chalking up the church as the only true social hero. You are essentially making that point to yourself - since you are read by about about 3 people. Suddenly there are murmurs of 'distorting beyond all recognition' and 'copyright infringement'? Post duly deleted Officer Snootypants! Not that she asked but i figured it wasnt worth it.

For the record - there are no hard and fast rules to blogging. A link is courteous and a link there was! I concede the point was badly made but then Im not claiming to be any amazing writer and i did not distort your post. I did link to it, however, which is really all i have to do regards copyright.

I still respect what you did even if i think you take yourself waaaay too seriously. (But then you are a police officer).

Mark Steyn Inc.

Is there any more cynical and absurd a journalist than Mark Steyn? Reading Steyn gives you the impression of someone who overdosed on the Daily Mail as a child and who shovels crack into his morning coffee to compensate. I imagine him hunched over his keyboard wondering what cheap shots to impart our way next. Did we fire him or something, is that where this all too obvious chip comes from? Whats with 'dollybird'? Notice how he broadstrokes socialised healthcare for an all too willing to lap it up audience - but sidesteps France where it works.  I didnt see too many people wallowing in the mire, looting, shooting and abandoned when the floods hit Britain a la third world New Orleans either, Mark. His delightful portrayal of ALL cities in Britain are a jihadis wet dream. If he had been born a duskier shade of the putrid pale that he is, I imagine he would be out there blowing up Bluewater and the Ministry of Sound with the best of them. Their totalitarian view of pagan Britain is way too closely aligned with his own. Mass consumerism and more cash in pockets means more kids on the streets overdosing on plain old bankrupt western cultcha innit, Mark.  City boys in the 80s od'd on champagne but they were ok eh Steyn. MSM voyeurism make Britains Streets!!!!!!!! prime time viewing and front page news with such regular monotony that its a self fulfilling mohamedian prophecy.  1970s crime infested filthy murderous New York was chic and cool, London isnt half as bad but it takes twice the wrap.  How does that work?

He's not the kind of person you'd want to spill your pint with really (or your dirty martini). Christopher Hitchens on the other hand - now theres a man who can do angry broody indignant and righteous.

"They certainly wouldn't have to surf extremist websites to be told that such places are an abomination when they could pick up the same message at any newsagent in the land". Dont think we'd agree on all the contributing factors but basically he's right.

I mean why would you want to be proud of a country that constantly grinds its nose in the dirt and enjoys other people putting the boot in? No wonder jihadis feel they have nothing to lose. Other countries have a whole raft of issues to deal with, socials 'scandals'. Know any single nation that has the monopoly on historical infallibility or a government that hasnt screwed up somewhere? Left and Right have their share of headbangers and screwups. To listen to left right and others arbitrarily write this country off with their tedious doom-mongering, why would anyone not want to blow it up?

Blubberfest

Enjoyed this. The great British blubberfest:

"I fulsomely support Islamic hoodie Shabina Begum, whose non-politically motivated campaign to force schools to accept her headscarf has heartened fuckbrained, sobbing whingevictims nationwide. Ladies, I salute your courage and your willingness to create a huge ruckus over bugger all. You may rest assured that the next time I hammer my knackers in a desk drawer, I will be thinking of you"

Lampost

Malalai Joya.  The outspoken MP who stands up for women in Afghanistan and is a vehement critic of its current government. She 'rose to fame' in 2003, gaining access to Parliament, having spent much of her young life working solidly to build up womens rights.  Amongst the threats of rape and waterbottle throwing fits in this 'Parliament', one of the warlords she was attacking, Abdul Rasul Sayyaf, told her that her speech denouncing them was 'a crime' and announced "Jihad is the basis of this nation" asking for her microphone to be disconnected.

 

She is no fan of the coalition forces either - accusing them of leaving democracy in the hands of men no better than Saddam Hussein.  Survivor of 4 assassination attempts, she remains solid in her commitment to shout down the warlords. Her presence in the parliament is a powerful symbol of change.  She is a woman in a world that hasnt caught up with her. And where the Coalition is forced to accept 'democratic shortfalls'? The role she has keenly taken up - to undermine the men who hold their penises in one hand and Korans in the other.

Speaker of the house, Mojaddedi, a former mujahideen leader, once called her an infidel, and said that if she did not apologise she could not attend the next session of 'parliament'.  It would be almost comical if his words werent about to come true, another womans rights activist hadnt been murdered this week and Malalai's life wasnt in constant danger. She is revered as a heroine amongst the people of Afghanistan - for breaking balls. When it comes to making their mark about who is in charge, as brave troops battle the Taleban,  it is women who will be used cynically - as the dogs favourite lampost.  Good to see she got a full page today in the Times